Little and silly vs bigger and brighter.
This area is for just those occasional thoughts that seem so small, but when you really dissect it, it's had or having huge effects on my life.
Tuesday 6th of June 2017....
I remember writing something positive on somebody's social media account that was probably way to airy fairy for their way of thinking. No insult here, we are all different and it's important that we are. Anyway, normally when I reflect on a situation like this, I start thinking " oh crap, that's probably so confusing to them, and they probably think I'm high or mentally challenged". I always speak from the heart and struggled with others Accepting this...... well, today I've just discovered or had an aah moment, I don't know. I no longer knock myself. If they can't accept me for me, well that's their business, not mine. God I'd go insane trying to please the world. Of course this goes with common sense too. If I wrote something quite nasty or effectively playing mind games, then ,yes I should feel bad. That's the secret to humility.
I think I made the point I was trying to make. I'll read it another day when my brain needs a refresher and just make sure it makes sense. To me that is.
Today is Thursday the 8th of June. Yes I had to look up the day and date.
This is after a two day pass out, I'm hoping today is going to be a lag and what I call a slow surface day.
I know why I had this down time , unlike many of the others.
Moving house initially was a huge struggle,but once the new house started to look like my new home, it upped the adrenaline and I went crazy like a person on drugs or a massive high. I knew I was going to pay back in bed. I sit there and make a very conscious decision.... Do I just slowly slowly get this place looking and feeling like home (something that is important to me with ms,as familiarity scares away the insecurity and memory loss a bit) .
Unfortunately choosing this straw sees me vulnerable for depression,anxiety and so much more. Nothing can be in my path due to trip hazards, my mind runs purely on habit and rarely memory so we've learnt through experience that all things must have a place. Less chance of trips and falls, I know what and where things are so my getting from a to b is done confidently which is so important. Less frustration of " now, where did I put that" all the time. Yes we all do the "where's my keys scenario", I'm talking every little thing that we often just take for granted. The best way I describe ms sometimes is YOU RETURN TO A TODDLER LEARNING TO WALK AND GETTING INTO MISCHIEF. The mischief is slightly different as it from coordination, but with the same outcome.
Now, getting back to the beginning of the story or should I say the moral of the story.
I chose to go hard and fast to get the house done as to avoid the above plus some. Sometimes it's just easier to pay the price for a few days of pass out then pain than an eternity of frustration.
Tuesday 6th of June 2017....
I remember writing something positive on somebody's social media account that was probably way to airy fairy for their way of thinking. No insult here, we are all different and it's important that we are. Anyway, normally when I reflect on a situation like this, I start thinking " oh crap, that's probably so confusing to them, and they probably think I'm high or mentally challenged". I always speak from the heart and struggled with others Accepting this...... well, today I've just discovered or had an aah moment, I don't know. I no longer knock myself. If they can't accept me for me, well that's their business, not mine. God I'd go insane trying to please the world. Of course this goes with common sense too. If I wrote something quite nasty or effectively playing mind games, then ,yes I should feel bad. That's the secret to humility.
I think I made the point I was trying to make. I'll read it another day when my brain needs a refresher and just make sure it makes sense. To me that is.
Today is Thursday the 8th of June. Yes I had to look up the day and date.
This is after a two day pass out, I'm hoping today is going to be a lag and what I call a slow surface day.
I know why I had this down time , unlike many of the others.
Moving house initially was a huge struggle,but once the new house started to look like my new home, it upped the adrenaline and I went crazy like a person on drugs or a massive high. I knew I was going to pay back in bed. I sit there and make a very conscious decision.... Do I just slowly slowly get this place looking and feeling like home (something that is important to me with ms,as familiarity scares away the insecurity and memory loss a bit) .
Unfortunately choosing this straw sees me vulnerable for depression,anxiety and so much more. Nothing can be in my path due to trip hazards, my mind runs purely on habit and rarely memory so we've learnt through experience that all things must have a place. Less chance of trips and falls, I know what and where things are so my getting from a to b is done confidently which is so important. Less frustration of " now, where did I put that" all the time. Yes we all do the "where's my keys scenario", I'm talking every little thing that we often just take for granted. The best way I describe ms sometimes is YOU RETURN TO A TODDLER LEARNING TO WALK AND GETTING INTO MISCHIEF. The mischief is slightly different as it from coordination, but with the same outcome.
Now, getting back to the beginning of the story or should I say the moral of the story.
I chose to go hard and fast to get the house done as to avoid the above plus some. Sometimes it's just easier to pay the price for a few days of pass out then pain than an eternity of frustration.
Comments
Post a Comment