MY LITTLE DISORDER THAT CONTROLS LINDY.
* I WAKE UP AT 4 am every morning, just so I can have that peaceful moment with the birds rising and the tranquility of quietness
* I roll to the side of my bed, no strength to lift my little body with this little disorder. I look around the room wondering where I am, what day it is, do I need to get ready for work, who is in the house with me, what did I do yesterday that makes me feel like I've been at the gym all night and the hangover from all the un consumed alcohol.
* I stand up, fall frontwards into the wall ( or sliding doors in my case), I re gather my balance and head for the bedroom door, whack into the built in wardrobe and ricochet to the end of the bed. I stand bent over, holding onto the bed post until I get my feet again.
* The fun begins here, I head down the angled flight of stairs one foot slowly , then the next, stand still to re compose my balance. Then repeat this about16 times.
* Make it to the kitchen / dining/ lounge open area, and zig zag to the kettle, the whole time concentrating on what's around me to grab hold of when I take my next step forward.
* Once I get to the kettle, it's all routine. Just a little bit of water in the kettle so I can lift it, drag the canister of coffee close hard up against my cup ( that was put there the night before as the cupboards are to high for me to reach up) I scoop my coffee from the canister and do the quick exchange before I shake the contents off the spoon. The same applies for a little sugar. Then I think argh, I've got to walk over to the fridge and get the milk, I need a little bench fridge. I pour the water into my cup, only 3/4 full though as it ends up splashed over the floor as I make it back to my room and balcony. Oh, the milk, yes I've done the treck to the fridge again to put it back.
* Well the trip back up the stairs is obviously the same as coming down, but a little harder as I only have one hand to offer for the rails and all the while ensuring I don't wear the hot coffee.
* Yes, yes. That's what I think when I make it to the balcony off my bedroom, I place my coffee down on my outside table then go to the rails and lean against them. I stand and look up to the sky and have a mental chat to whom ever is my guidance. I ask questions, I promise to stay honest and battle through, I ask for forgiveness as my temper is so short due to pain, shaking,distortions of my limbs at times, my speech and vision problems, my confusion and memory that's failing, and most of all I apologise for losing faith in human beings. I then let my neck flop down as its starting to cramp. At this point I either smile or cry.
* I waddle over to get my coffee and head to the side wall of the balcony, I can lay my cup here and not have to hold it with cramped and painful hands. This is where I stand watching the trees and listening to the beautiful sounds of the local birds. It distracts me if I did end up crying and it gives my ears some sounds I love.
* My joints are hurting as I'm standing still, so I pace the balcony and do very very minor stretches. I always wonder if someone is watching and laughing at what I call my exercises. Depending on how my mood is, depends on my thoughts about the mystery of being watched. Some mornings I chuckle to myself as I imagine how funny it would look, if I'm still crying I just don't care what they think and if I'm fed up, you guessed it. 🖕the good old middle finger salutes the world.
* I sit down now, oh crap, coffee everywhere as I try to sit with it in my hand. This balcony floor needs a mop.
* Thinking time begins. Like any normal person, I think what the day ahead will bring. That one lasts all of three seconds, again, depending on my mood depends on where my mind goes.
TO BE CONTINUED...........
* I WAKE UP AT 4 am every morning, just so I can have that peaceful moment with the birds rising and the tranquility of quietness
* I roll to the side of my bed, no strength to lift my little body with this little disorder. I look around the room wondering where I am, what day it is, do I need to get ready for work, who is in the house with me, what did I do yesterday that makes me feel like I've been at the gym all night and the hangover from all the un consumed alcohol.
* I stand up, fall frontwards into the wall ( or sliding doors in my case), I re gather my balance and head for the bedroom door, whack into the built in wardrobe and ricochet to the end of the bed. I stand bent over, holding onto the bed post until I get my feet again.
* The fun begins here, I head down the angled flight of stairs one foot slowly , then the next, stand still to re compose my balance. Then repeat this about16 times.
* Make it to the kitchen / dining/ lounge open area, and zig zag to the kettle, the whole time concentrating on what's around me to grab hold of when I take my next step forward.
* Once I get to the kettle, it's all routine. Just a little bit of water in the kettle so I can lift it, drag the canister of coffee close hard up against my cup ( that was put there the night before as the cupboards are to high for me to reach up) I scoop my coffee from the canister and do the quick exchange before I shake the contents off the spoon. The same applies for a little sugar. Then I think argh, I've got to walk over to the fridge and get the milk, I need a little bench fridge. I pour the water into my cup, only 3/4 full though as it ends up splashed over the floor as I make it back to my room and balcony. Oh, the milk, yes I've done the treck to the fridge again to put it back.
* Well the trip back up the stairs is obviously the same as coming down, but a little harder as I only have one hand to offer for the rails and all the while ensuring I don't wear the hot coffee.
* Yes, yes. That's what I think when I make it to the balcony off my bedroom, I place my coffee down on my outside table then go to the rails and lean against them. I stand and look up to the sky and have a mental chat to whom ever is my guidance. I ask questions, I promise to stay honest and battle through, I ask for forgiveness as my temper is so short due to pain, shaking,distortions of my limbs at times, my speech and vision problems, my confusion and memory that's failing, and most of all I apologise for losing faith in human beings. I then let my neck flop down as its starting to cramp. At this point I either smile or cry.
* I waddle over to get my coffee and head to the side wall of the balcony, I can lay my cup here and not have to hold it with cramped and painful hands. This is where I stand watching the trees and listening to the beautiful sounds of the local birds. It distracts me if I did end up crying and it gives my ears some sounds I love.
* My joints are hurting as I'm standing still, so I pace the balcony and do very very minor stretches. I always wonder if someone is watching and laughing at what I call my exercises. Depending on how my mood is, depends on my thoughts about the mystery of being watched. Some mornings I chuckle to myself as I imagine how funny it would look, if I'm still crying I just don't care what they think and if I'm fed up, you guessed it. 🖕the good old middle finger salutes the world.
* I sit down now, oh crap, coffee everywhere as I try to sit with it in my hand. This balcony floor needs a mop.
* Thinking time begins. Like any normal person, I think what the day ahead will bring. That one lasts all of three seconds, again, depending on my mood depends on where my mind goes.
TO BE CONTINUED...........
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