the honest truth of who and where we are

now this little piece is a puzzle being put together by my specialists from the family history of chronic pain, no ms diagnosis hence self medicating. My dad's mother died of renal failure from a sick kidney then the transplant that her body rejected, she died of heart failure in the end.  This was caused by the huge consumption of Bex powders, obviously for a chronic pain condition that was nearly impossible to diagnose then. Sadly, a lot assumed it was self destruction. Well, yes it was. The pain being unbearable caused her to swallow bex powders to alleviate it. There's so many ways you can look at this scenario. Ultimately, she had undiagnosed multiple sclerosis which caused her death at the end of the day. Stating the obvious here, she wouldn't have taken bex powders if she wasn't in so much pain.  Yes, bex powders were famous for the renal failure it created it, but we need to dig deeper..... why was she taking such huge amounts of bex powder ? ?  Sadly, she ...

well of late I'm going through massive transformation. Yes, I've been chronically I'll so much for about 6 months. The longest a relapse or bout has ever lasted. I kept praying and pleading for some relief. Why me why, why, why ?...... Looking back, I was unsettled and trying to convince myself that I should be. I almost felt greedy for wanting more out of life. Not more money or more of materialistic value. I wanted more happiness. Happiness doesn't just appear dear lindy, you have to create it and shun all negativity diligently. Look, I don't know if it's a combination, but I honestly feel that moving to gympie queensland has helped me through my transition. The people you meet here are almost, I don't know...... vibrational and beautiful.  Yes you still get the odd robotic type people just moving through life and doing what is expected and accepted, but generally they are far outweighed here in divine gympie. I still offer these people my energy, bu...

IN A NUTSHELL, GYMPIE IS AN OLD HIPPIE TOWN. in the day it was full of beautiful people with a HUGE community orientation. It still is, however, there is a broader selection of people types and tiger stripes. Me personally, I love the feeling the energy the warmth of purely being in Mary street. Naturally it's the shops and places I visit in the street that feed me this energy. I try to avoid the bigger chain type shops and shopping centres. Walking into a shopping centre gives me instant unease. The vibration is just rush rush, get out of my way I don't care if you're limping, I've got money and I'm going to buy happiness for a day. This type of environment effects me in such a bad way and commonly knocks me for a day or three. For the south Australians reading this, it's very much like semaphore Main Street. Music, good healthy food, friendly smiling people and just that at ease feeling it gives. On Wednesday the 23rd, I saw a reiki specialist. Besides...

This post is within minutes of my last. I'm really struggling with my hair. It hurts as it is so heavy, curly, no straight, frizzy oh whatever. The moral of this post is.... I need to have a damn short haircut, Annie Lennox style preferably. I was hoping like hell that the chemotherapeutic  Drugs would leave me no choice and my hair would start falling out.  No hope, the steroids make it grow more, I swear. This is so insane, I'm struggling to just do it, cut it off. Aaah, you know why, it's giving up something AGAIN.   I really dont care for hair but I'm doing it against personal wants. It's illness requirements and I don't get along with that one. So these are the styles I'm looking at. Thanks to an app that you chose your style and strategically try and place your face into the face shape.  Pretty good reference for me I suppose.  Some are god awful. Some I love. The only thing is you need to blend your own skin colour with the templates an...

Yep, it's been a while that I've splashed my thoughts. Specialist appointments, these ruin me prior to and after the fact. On a positive, my daughter and granddaughters from Adelaide came for a week. With this comes emotions too. The horrible goodbye that sits me back on my arse. I'm so over saying goodbye to everyone and everything I suppose. I want to welcome in good all the time.  MY FAIRYTALE...... I've had a couple of relapses in just a few months. Some days I get up and I have no scope for the day. This shall be my last as I am dying. These are the days where I can't for the life of me hide my illness, pretend or deny that I'm ill.  I spend a few days by the toilet.  I can hardly see as my face is so swollen and I have absolutely no feeling in my face. I try to eat and choke, when I drink it runs down my front, in my mind I'm thinking " you have to eat and drink to sustain that bit of life in you". This is when the viscous cycle start...