FIGHTING THE DEVIL !!!
That's it in a nutshell.
Everything I do or try to do, everything I think, every financial or business transaction has been and is FIGHTING THE DEVIL.
my coordination physically and mentally drives me NUTS. I've always been a highly organised and some what proud energetic person. I'm trying to maintain that part of lindy with a fight.
My principles are lying in the way of just letting it be or letting it go. My determination which has always been an asset is now my enemy. The physical energy I still have in a strange way, is boiling inside of me and needs an out. My active mind that I once kept at bay has gone rogue.
Where the hell do I put all this shit that is lindy ?
The good the bad and the ugly are what makes us who we are, we spend most of our life learning and understanding our weaknesses, strengths, disciplines, undisciplined and everything in between. Just when you get to a more mature age of accepting our differences and starting the puzzle of life, this massive wind storm blows it all away. I'm standing here looking at all the bits and pieces scattered around and wondering where to start. Then it becomes apparent that I can't (a swear word to me). I want to walk over there and grab the edges of this puzzle and start rebuilding it. I've done it before, I CAN o it again.
You bloody bleep bleep bleep, walk legs, bend back,think brain, work hands. My overactive mind that was once an asset has become the devil. It's saying I can, but in practice it bloody won't. Ok, so I can't (that bloody word). Let's say unable to.
I'm unable to work everything like a humming motor just idling through life. It sits in neutral getting ready to drive and it won't get a gear. Then some days it grabs all the gears, first, second, whoops reverse, up to fourth then fifth. I try to slow down at the red light and it won't, I'm unable to. It stays in fifth until I run out of fuel and devastation all around me. What a mess. The car sits in the driveway, broken, worn out and in need of repair.
Miraculously, one day it starts. A few fuses burnt out and the head lights not working, but it's spluttering along.
I stop driving the car as it becomes dangerous. When lindy drives, the devil takes over.
Only problem, my car is me. It's not a material thing that I use and replace when it's worn out, it's not repairable and a new form of getting around life is in its early days of creation.
There's no four wheel drive any more, it runs at first or fifth gear only. Quite often it gets stuck in reverse. The tyres are worn out and some days it's best to just leave the car and the devil in the driveway, locked up and locked away.
Stage one of acceptance and learning to live with the devil. Better the devil you know I suppose.
Everything I do or try to do, everything I think, every financial or business transaction has been and is FIGHTING THE DEVIL.
my coordination physically and mentally drives me NUTS. I've always been a highly organised and some what proud energetic person. I'm trying to maintain that part of lindy with a fight.
My principles are lying in the way of just letting it be or letting it go. My determination which has always been an asset is now my enemy. The physical energy I still have in a strange way, is boiling inside of me and needs an out. My active mind that I once kept at bay has gone rogue.
Where the hell do I put all this shit that is lindy ?
The good the bad and the ugly are what makes us who we are, we spend most of our life learning and understanding our weaknesses, strengths, disciplines, undisciplined and everything in between. Just when you get to a more mature age of accepting our differences and starting the puzzle of life, this massive wind storm blows it all away. I'm standing here looking at all the bits and pieces scattered around and wondering where to start. Then it becomes apparent that I can't (a swear word to me). I want to walk over there and grab the edges of this puzzle and start rebuilding it. I've done it before, I CAN o it again.
You bloody bleep bleep bleep, walk legs, bend back,think brain, work hands. My overactive mind that was once an asset has become the devil. It's saying I can, but in practice it bloody won't. Ok, so I can't (that bloody word). Let's say unable to.
I'm unable to work everything like a humming motor just idling through life. It sits in neutral getting ready to drive and it won't get a gear. Then some days it grabs all the gears, first, second, whoops reverse, up to fourth then fifth. I try to slow down at the red light and it won't, I'm unable to. It stays in fifth until I run out of fuel and devastation all around me. What a mess. The car sits in the driveway, broken, worn out and in need of repair.
Miraculously, one day it starts. A few fuses burnt out and the head lights not working, but it's spluttering along.
I stop driving the car as it becomes dangerous. When lindy drives, the devil takes over.
Only problem, my car is me. It's not a material thing that I use and replace when it's worn out, it's not repairable and a new form of getting around life is in its early days of creation.
There's no four wheel drive any more, it runs at first or fifth gear only. Quite often it gets stuck in reverse. The tyres are worn out and some days it's best to just leave the car and the devil in the driveway, locked up and locked away.
Stage one of acceptance and learning to live with the devil. Better the devil you know I suppose.
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