My beautiful family...and growing bigger, my wish come true



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Lindys silence.

that word....... silence.  My brain shuts down for absolute silence. Not wanted silence though, it's a " no choice silence".  These are the days when I can't string a sentence of simple words or needs. I'm learning, discovering  and trying to accept what is actually going on rather than getting annoyed with it. I've had and still have so many unanswered questions though. Up until now, I couldn't understand why I would shut myself away at certain times. I knew I wasn't upset, tired or just being selfish. I knew what it wasn't , but I didn't know what it was.  It comes down to what part of the brain is being affected by swelling. Swelling is DEFINATELY triggered by stress. Doesn't have to be big stress to someone else, but big stress to me. Something that has been frustrating or traumatic causes major shut downs. Most have heard of dysarthria. It's when the muscles around your voice box and swallowing become inflamed. So it gives a whol...
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FIGHTING THE DEVIL !!!

That's it in a nutshell. Everything I do or try to do, everything I think, every financial or business transaction has been and is FIGHTING THE DEVIL. my coordination physically and mentally drives me NUTS. I've always been a highly organised and some what proud energetic person. I'm trying to maintain that part of lindy with a fight. My principles are lying in the way of just letting it be or letting it go. My determination which has always been an asset is now my enemy. The physical energy I still have in a strange way, is boiling inside of me and needs an out. My active mind that I once kept at bay has gone rogue. Where the hell do I put all this shit that is lindy ? The good the bad and the ugly are what makes us who we are, we spend most of our life learning and understanding our weaknesses, strengths, disciplines, undisciplined and everything in between. Just when you get to a more mature age of accepting our differences and starting the puzzle of life, this ma...
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The 7 years of diagnosis

it takes along time to diagnose ms. It's a strange little thing that tricks you all the time.  You know those days when you're booked in for a haircut because your hair has become so unruly and messy looking. The day you get up and get ready for your hairdresser appointment, you look in the mirror and think, shit, my hair looks great this length. It's actually starting to suit me.  You get on the blower and cancel your hairdresser appointment and give your hair ONE more chance. This is what ms does in the early days. Cancelled Dr appointments constantly. You feel like a real bloody lunatic. Why have I felt like death again for the past three days,only to wake up and it's like it was never there.  Oooh, those wonderful early days of ms. When I did go to the doctors and explain what I'd been through, blood tests and other new tests would be performed with results coming back saying " shit, she's one very healthy young lady". Then after a year or two...
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