the honest truth of who and where we are

That's it in a nutshell. Everything I do or try to do, everything I think, every financial or business transaction has been and is FIGHTING THE DEVIL. my coordination physically and mentally drives me NUTS. I've always been a highly organised and some what proud energetic person. I'm trying to maintain that part of lindy with a fight. My principles are lying in the way of just letting it be or letting it go. My determination which has always been an asset is now my enemy. The physical energy I still have in a strange way, is boiling inside of me and needs an out. My active mind that I once kept at bay has gone rogue. Where the hell do I put all this shit that is lindy ? The good the bad and the ugly are what makes us who we are, we spend most of our life learning and understanding our weaknesses, strengths, disciplines, undisciplined and everything in between. Just when you get to a more mature age of accepting our differences and starting the puzzle of life, this ma...

me and my mixed up muddled up mind. When I see my Doctor (5 hour turn around drive), I also visit my daughter and grandsons. It's generally nerve racking preparing for the journey but once there, I leave with a feeling of achievement. Evidently and very obviously, I'm surfacing from a relapse. An MS relapse. With aggressive ms, unfortunately I don't recover from relapses. The damage is there for good. In RRMS, people recover from relapses with some slight permanent changes. And, no I don't intend to make any MS sound like an easier or less invasive form. Off that subject. Sort of any way.   When visiting my GP, it's like catching up with a friend. He's just the best doctor and all round person. He treats my MS with dignity and so badly wants to fix me. He doesn't ever offer or try to ram more medications into me. He sits with his legs up on his chair like a relaxed person does and listeners so intently to every thing I say. He looks at me in the fa...